Giveaway – 2 Tickets to The World Domination Summit

UPDATE: These tickets have now been gifted and are in the process of being transferred. The recipients have been contacted. I am so sorry that I didn’t have more tickets available and I wish you all well with your path.

I have two tickets to The World Domination Summit. I really wanted to go with A this year but with sweet Eamonn recently joining the family, it doesn’t seem to be in the cards for us this year.

So…. I figure that I will do a giveaway. The value of these tickets are $500 each and there is apparently a transfer fee as well. I would like the recipient of the tickets to pay the transfer fee.

Here’s the catch:
The last possible transfer date is tomorrow. Sunday May 6th, 2012

I would like the tickets to go to someone who has a financial need and would not otherwise be able to go (not to mention that the tickets are sold out).

Please comment letting me know why you would like the tickets.

I look forward to passing these tickets on to someone who can and will appreciate them.

Our Adoption Journey – Part 6

We’ve not shared our story publicly up to this point but now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak, I am going to share the process here, with names and numbers. I’ve journaled sporadically but have at least kept track of the important stuff. Some of this is pretty close to my heart and I ask that you, the reader, handle my feelings with care and gentleness. Everyone comes to adoption differently. This is our path.

Our story:

Part 6:

Our Adoption Trip:

Once I had done the majority of my research, I sent an email to Teri Miller with Adoption Network Law Center:

June 14th, 2011

Hello Teri,

I wanted to give you an update. I have spoken to Erin O’Donoughue-Given with Citizen and Immigration Canada. Erin has said that this is completely a go-ahead! They have a process already in place for this very situation. It happens regularly and they are quite familiar with it.
There is one extra step that we (Alan and I) can take which actually does not involve the Hague Convention, nor any processes involved in it, at all (whew!). We can send a letter regarding our adoption plans to Citizen and Immigration Canada, which shows proof of our intentions to remain in the US (work visa, letter from Alan’s employer, Green Card application… etc), as well as proof of our past residence in the Province of Alberta (old drivers license), as that is the province that would govern our process (or indicate that they have no need to govern the process in our situation).
Once a request is sent, there would then be a flurry of activity behind the scenes which will result in a letter being filed at the Canadian Consulate in San Francisco (or in Los Angeles) indicating that they are aware of our intentions and that we’ve jumped through all of the hoops (and more) correctly and that our adopted child would be eligible for Canadian citizenship. In addition, they would send a letter for us to include in our dossier.
Please note, this is not a necessary step but is in place if a US Authority requests it. It can be done in a relatively short period of time. Citizen and Immigration Canada views a finalized domestic adoption in the US the same as they would a biological child born in the US to Canadian citizens.
Please find the email from Erin explaining the process below.
I believe that this satisfies the question as to whether or not we can adopt in the US as Canadian Visa holders and be able to return to Canada in the future with our child, should we wish/need to.
I look forward to discussing this further with you and looking at where we will now go from here.
Thank you very much for calling me back yesterday and for all of the research that you’ve already conducted in regards to this. Please feel free to contact Erin for confirmation of this information or if you have any additional questions. She indicated that she will be out of the office for the next couple of days but back in on Friday, June 17th.
Warmest Regards,
KC
The next day I had even more answers and emailed them off to her as well:
June 15th, 2011
Hello Teri,
I wanted to let you know that I have continued my quest for information, this time focusing on getting confirmation in regards to adopting in the US from a US official, and what I have found is that the requirement to adopt in California is to be a ‘resident’. When I asked for that to be defined they laughed and told me that at 3 1/2 years living in California, we are most definitely considered residents.
I spoke to Heidi Henderson at the California State Department of Social Services located in Oakland. She confirmed this. She specifically said that there was no law disallowing non-citizens to adopt domestically however, as we have found previously, there are laws limiting who can adopt internationally while living in the United Stated (we cannot as the child would not qualify for US citizenship based on our status or even an visa to enter – this then becomes a US immigration nightmare).
I have also spoken to a woman at Child Welfare Information Gateway, Marilena, who was exceptionally helpful with resources. She also confirmed that the only requirement that she knew of in California was the need to be a resident. Additionally, she told me that domestic adoption restrictions are under the state laws. She stated that all state laws are very clear on who cannot adopt and it does not say that non-citizens cannot adopt domestically. I was told if this was a restriction, it would have been clearly stated.
I have also left a message with the US Government – Foreign Policy and International Affairs and I expect to hear back from them within the next couple of days.
I have also spoken to the clerk at the Clerk’s Office of the Superior Court of California. He confirmed that the only requirement to process the adoption papers in the court is to be a resident and citizens of all countries have access to the courts based on their residency in California. He looked over the papers that would need to be filed and the form asks for the California address, at no point does it ask citizenship.
I have also spoken directly to a Mr. Gradstein who is an adoption attorney in Half Moon Bay who shared with me that he knows of no reason for us to not be able to adopt domestically while living in the US.
If there is anything else that you wish me to research, I would be happy to. If you have any questions regarding any of the above, please feel free to let me know.
Thank you,
KC
The following day I received an email from Teri saying that she had an “immigration addendum” for us. (She did not otherwise acknowledge my email to her.) We then set up a Skype meeting to go through the services offered.
To be continued…

I want to remember – 3

I want to remember the look on Little Miss M’s face when she realized that it was A taking her out of the car after she’d fallen asleep on the way home from the airport. It was initially confused and then sweetly pleased. She then stretched up to give him a soft kiss.

I want to remember Eamonn’s first solo bath:

(Eamonn’s first bath was with me and he was very upset about it. I couldn’t bring myself to give him any more baths until he was happier in water so he showers with either myself or Alan. He’s still not ecstatic about water but he doesn’t freak out any more. It seemed as though it was the actual immersion that he didn’t enjoy. So this is his first bath without mommy.)

I want to remember that Eamonn has recently found his fist and has been turning his head in order to gnaw on it. He found his thumb and had stretched it out in order to chew on it separately. (10 weeks)

I want to remember that Eamonn found his fist and then, to my horror, his thumb to suck on it (11 weeks 5 days). When I noticed it, he was happily sucking his thumb… (What do I do with thumbsucking?! – I’ve never dealt with it before!)

I want to remember Eamonn’s first chuckle (11 weeks). Still waiting for the next one.

I want to remember the girls holding Eamonn steadily and confidently. And how big he looked sitting on their little laps.  And their hands gently yet firmly keeping him in place.

I want to remember Little Miss V picking up Eamonn from the couch correctly and confidently. And that he was completely happy in her arms.

I want to remember Little Miss M telling me how to burp Eamonn… correctly.

I want to remember Little Miss M taking out her crocheting and looking so grown up with her colorful yarn and crochet needle.

I want to remember listening to the girls explain Eamonn’s adoption story in their understanding with total acceptance.

I want to remember their total acceptance of Eamonn – that they ‘knew he belonged to them’.

I want to remember nursing Eamonn…

I want to remember rubbing his sweet head while nursing him.

I want to remember turning our red head lamp on when I go to bed and leaving it on for a few extra minutes so that I can watch this little miracle sleep.

I want to remember nursing Eamonn…

I want to remember that I feel so blessed to be able to nurse our sweet little boy. (He’s never lost any weight and has gained beautifully.) As of 12 weeks, 2 days – he was 14 lbs 10 oz! Breastfed only. :-)

I want to remember his sweet little face looking at me and then… breaking into a sweet smile.

I want to remember how he let me know, in no uncertain terms, that he was done with being swaddled and started sleeping even better with his hands free.

(Although – I must also remember that it took me a little while to figure out what it was that he was asking for… and until I got it, he let me know that he was unimpressed with my delayed understanding.)

I want to remember every moment. (Don’t tell me ‘enjoy this time, it’s fleeting’. I know and I’ve been soaking him up.) :-)

Our Adoption Journey – Part 5

We’ve not shared our story publicly up to this point but now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak, I am going to share the process here, with names and numbers. I’ve journaled sporadically but have at least kept track of the important stuff. Some of this is pretty close to my heart and I ask that you, the reader, handle my feelings with care and gentleness. Everyone comes to adoption differently. This is our path.

Our story:

Part 5:

Our Adoption Trip:

June 14th, 2011 – Journal Entry

Whew! Yesterday and today have been emotionally trying. On Friday I spoke to a woman at an agency that I thought (after reading through their website) would be a good fit for us. She was very gruff and discouraging. She basically said that we, as Canadian citizens, couldn’t adopt in the US. (She felt that Canada would not allow the child Canadian citizenship.) That was completely at odds with common sense (if I had a baby biologically – Canada would allow that child citizenship – a finalized adoption yields the same result) as well as what I have been told by a Canadian government agency. I was quite down in the dumps. A took me out to Soif on a date and managed to cheer me up quite a bit but I fell deeper into the trench again over the weekend. I really didn’t know what I was going to do as far as convincing Teri Miller that YES – we REALLY CAN adopt here in the fair US of A!

 

This, of course threw me into a fact-finding mission. Below is the information that I found. I will include everyone that I contacted.

One of my first calls was to Luke Leonard at The Family Network. He felt that we would indeed be able to adopt and suggested that we call a lawyer that he works with – Jim Handy. I called and left a message with his receptionist. She called me back later in the day saying that it was fine for us to adopt in the US.

Child Welfare Info Gateway - 1-800-394-3366
I spoke to a woman named Marilena. She said that the only requirement was to be a resident in California. She sent a link to a brochure that defines it.
However, since I could not find a place where it specifically said that non-citizens can adopt in the US, my search for information continued.

US Department of Health and Human Services – 1-877-696-3366 – They sent me a form email which was not very useful.

Supreme Court of California – I spoke to the clerk. He was quite helpful, even pulling out the paperwork required to finalize an adoption and read through it. He said that the paperwork does not ask for citizenship at any point and he also added that, as legal residents of California, we have access to the courts – US citizenship was not a requirement.

Marc Gradstein – Attorney – 1-650-560-0123 – Marc was lovely to speak with. He acted as though he had all the time in the world to answer my questions. He was one of the first people to tell me that he had helped other non-citizens through the adoption process.

Intercountry Adoption Services – Government of Canada - 1-613-946-8070 - I called and left a message and the call was returned by Erin O’Donoughue-Given, Advisor - Intercountry Adoption Services

Erin was very helpful, she told me that there was no reason for us to not be able to adopt. We did not need to return to Canada in order to be assessed (as a matter a fact, since we were living in the US – there would be no home and community in Canada for them to assess). She also said that they’ve come up against this with the US before and that there is a system in place for us to get an official letter from the Canadian government should an adoption official in the US require something along those lines.

Snipped from her email to me explaining the process:

Canadian citizens living abroad who wish to adopt children in their country of residence or in a third country are subject to that country’s requirements. You may be asked to have a homestudy done by a qualified social worker in the US, and you may be required to submit medical and financial information as well as police clearances. Please note that a homestudy cannot be conducted in Canada if you do not reside here.
In some instances, the foreign authority asks for a letter from a Canadian authority approving the adoption and confirming that the child will be permitted to enter and reside in Canada. If the US authorities should require such a letter, you should make a request to the Canadian Embassy in Los Angeles, CA.

Erin was clear that the letter was not necessary in order for the child to gain Canadian citizenship.

US Department of State – The Office of Children’s Issues - 1-202-736-9130 – This was the best number to call, however it did take them a long time to get back to me. When they did return my call, the answer was short and to the point: YES – we can indeed adopt while we live in the US. Right around this time, Luke Leonard also called me back and told me that he had been in touch with the same office with someone he had been in contact with before and received the same answer.

Full steam ahead!

Jennifer’s Epic Trip Home

A year ago Jennifer and her two sweet girls traveled home from Spain. I’ve recently come across her story and felt that it needed some air time.

Written by Jennifer,

Thought you might enjoy this:

I started this trip home already a little sleep deprived. KC, A, and I, trying to wring every moment out of our last few days together stayed up late and packed our days. Thus, the morning of departure, I was already a little tired and looking forward to a nap on the plane. Ahhh, best laid plans….

Malaga to Frankfurt. A little tired, but okay. Frankfurt to Heathrow. No nap was possible, so a little more tired but okay. Arrived in Heathrow, put luggage in storage and got a cab to our Couchsurfing hosts home. Very tired. M is starting to cough and has rosy cheeks. V is complaining that her thumb hurts. She jammed her thumb into a lump of play-dough in school and got a tiny piece lodged in the quick under the nail and it is now starting to bother her.

In the cab, M looks around and declares, “The driver is on the wrong side!” So I explain that in some countries, they drive on the left side of the road and in some countries they drive on the right side of the road, like in Canada. She frowns and says to me very firmly, “That is not right. You make him go on the other side!” Apparently, this is too much for her equilibrium at the moment. After gently telling her I couldn’t change it, she choose to ignore the situation and look out the window. Although every time she looked at the driver, she frowned fiercely at the back of his head.

We made it to Sophia and Teja’s and were warmly welcomed. They were a truly charming couple who should be the poster people for “Lovely English Folk.” The bed was comfortable, they fed us a lovely supper and made us feel so at home, the move to help with preparation and cleanup was seamless as the conversation. Their son, who was home from boarding school was charming, educated, articulate, asked great questions about life in Canada and engaged the girls as soon as we were in the door. I put the girls to bed at about ten, then went and visited with Teja and Sophia until almost midnight.

When I finally got to bed, I was exhausted, but sleep was not be. V was tossing, turning and crying in her sleep. I finally had to sit her up to wake her enough to tell me what was wrong. Her thumb was hurting. I took her to the bathroom, where I could turn the light on. Her thumb with the play-dough under the nail was inflamed. I put it under water and we talked about needing to get the play-dough out. She was game if it meant that it would stop hurting. I found a pair of tweezers and we sat on the floor. I told her to take a deep breath and just barely touched her thumb with the tweezers. She let out a blood-curdling scream. Tweezers went flying, I snuggled her close and we both cried. Her in pain and both of us from exhaustion.  We talked for little that if I couldn’t get the play-dough out, she was going to have to deal with the pain and do her best to sleep so we could both get some rest for the following day. I don’t know what inner reserve she tapped, but she went to bed and fell soundly asleep, and I followed a short while later.

M woke at ungod-o’clock. When I couldn’t keep her quiet in bed anymore, I let her play quietly on the floor beside the bed while V slept and I dozed for another couple hours. At 8, we made our way to the bathroom and had quick showers. I organized our stuff for the day and then we visited over breakfast. Freddie showed the girls the trampoline in the back yard and we then went for a brief walk to Kew Gardens where we had just enough time to let the girls run through a child sized badger den before heading back to get a cab back to the airport. By this time, M was feeling like she was running the a slight fever and V couldn’t use her thumb without crying. At the airport, we collected our bags and headed to our check in counter, where I had this conversation with the check-in agent:

Agent: I am sorry, but I can’t seem to find you in our system. Where are you flying to?
Me: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, direct.
Agent: I am sorry, but there is no such flight.
Me: I’m sorry!?!?
Agent: Ms. Balan, there is no such flight.
Me: Sir, I booked the flight, so it must be there some where.
Agent: No, Mam. Let me go talk to the booking agent. We will get you home today.

I think he was trying to be reassuring. He failed. I followed him – luggage, children and all – to the ticket counter. If they were rerouting me, I wanted a say.

Turns out the flight was canceled ages ago and we didn’t receive the email with the update. Okay. So now, instead of a 9 hour direct flight, we were routed through Montreal (a 7 hour flight), with 1h 15min to get catch our connection to Edmonton, which was another five hours of flying. Oh, and you have to go through customsand immigration on arrival to Montreal before getting to your next plane.

We were delayed 15 minutes on the tarmac, waiting our turn for take-off. The flight was long in so many ways. I had both girls put their heads down for quiet time. I told them we were going to have 15 minutes of quiet. We all closed our eyes. Well, I did.  They popped up every few minutes wanting to know if 15 minutes was up. So we would reset the clock and try again. M finally fell asleep during one of these exercises. V resisted for another hour and some. I finally got her to sleep and a hour later, M woke. It was a long flight. We hit turbulence that added 20 minutes to flight time. Our plane touched down in Montreal at 5:46 local time. Our connection was going to announce pre-boarding in five minutes. It took 15 minutes to get to customs, another 15 to get to our bags, 15 minutes to get to the next bag check. I handed the woman behind the counter our boarding passes and said, “It’s gone, isn’t it.” She glanced at them and nodded and promptly started tapping away at her keyboard.

The girls were exhausted, but being troopers. This was our last flight. Just one more plane ride and we would be home! They were bouncing around my feet talking about this when V notice someone with balloons on the other side of the glass wall where people where waiting for their friends and family to come through customs. “Mama, someone has balloons at the airport. Why?” I explained that they were probably ‘Welcome Home’ balloons someone had brought for their family. “I want ‘Welcome Home’ balloons.” “We’ll talk about that when I am done talking to the agent, lovies.” Meanwhile, the ticketing agent frowned, sighed, shook her head, muttered “oh dear”, tapped some more, shook her head, frowned some more, sighed again, and then asked if I had someone who could meet me in Calgary. Uh, no. I need to get to Edmonton. “I can’t get you to Edmonton today.” The girls heard this tidbit. A shaky tired little voice from below the counter said, “We’re not going home today?” I asked for a moment, because I was on the verge of tears myself. I got down to the girls level. “I don’t know yet, bubba. I need to talk to the agent so we can figure it out.” I hugged them and went back to the agent. The next available flight was in the morning. I asked to be booked on that and where could I get a cheap hotel.

This staid, never cracked a smile, almost brusque woman leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. “When did you land?” she asked me. I told her. She then proceeded to tell me that it was the airlines fault that I missed my plane, therefore they would put us up in the hotel. This was first bit of good news. Armed with vouchers for hotel, supper and breakfast, we walked away from the counter. M, when she realized that we were not on our way to our next plane, collapsed in tears. “I want to go HOME!” And V joined her. Sitting on the airport floor in the arrivals area, I took my daughters into my arms and rocked them for a few minutes while people walked around us. Trying to find some encouraging words, something to inspire forward movement, I thought of nothing and just tried to comfort my daughters. M caught sight of the balloons again. “Balloons!” she said through her tears, “Mama, can I have a balloon?”

I latched onto this. A goal, this was a solid tangible goal that would not be shifted by airline delays, non-existent flights and time zones. I think the girls have had one helium balloon in their short lives, and that was because it was a special event. And not one of the pretty, shiny foil balloons they coveted.

“Yes, sweetie, you can both have a welcome home balloon. I will call Tante Lee and Nan and let them know we need ‘welcome home’ balloons for you two little superstars.”

“Like those ones?” M asked, pointing to the silvery, floating bubbles.

“Yup. Like those ones.” They smiled. The sun was shining again. “You know how we get those balloons?” I asked, embarking on one of my rare journeys into bribery. They shook their heads. “We keep going. Even when we’re tired and out of sorts because things are not going as we expected. Even when it takes longer. So we can home to our family. That is how we get them.”

They seemed to get their adventure on once again at the prospect of the balloons. This ground gained was shaky at best, so I struck while the going was good. We found our shuttle, we got checked into our hotel, we had some supper, I put them to bed (after making sure they overheard me talking to mom telling her we needed balloons). A short while later I was in bed as well. But alas, once again, sleep was not to be. M had been tossing and turning before I went to bed. I knew her fever was rising and now she was coughing in a way that made me think she was going to vomit.

She did.

Without warning.

Twice.

In the bed.

I cleaned up her and the bed as best I could. Threw down a towel and went to bed. I finally got to sleep at 1 a.m. with the smell of vomit in my nose and my feverish little girl curled up at my side.

V woke at 3. I kept her quiet until 4 and then we got up to have a long hot shower, leaving M to sleep as long as possible. Pack up, breakfast, shuttle, airport. Every time we were on the verge of breakdown, mutiny, unable to listen for lack of sleep, I ignored it and instead reminded them what superstars they were being. Superstars with balloons waiting for them. The balloons became the finish line for our traveling marathon. It was no longer about when we got home, just the fact we were going to make it there. My tired mind had miscalculated the time and we were at the gate early. Since Spain, I had not had a decent coffee. The hotel coffee was brown water. I needed caffeine. Thanks to my miscalculation, I had time to grab a coffee: Starbucks, straight up triple shot espresso. No milk, no sugar. I had no extra hands, so I drank it standing at the counter, set down my cup and walked on.

This last flight home was the hardest. I was tired beyond belief. M couldn’t get comfortable and was looking like she was going to puke again. V, thank goodness, was self-suficient today and watched movies, colored, and watched more movies while I tried to keep M comfortable. We were about half way through the flight when the purser made an announcement:

“Ladies and gentlemen, it appears that our lavatories are out of order. Please remain in your seats while we try reset them.”

Good thing the girls and I had been to the bathroom just a little bit ago. We would make it home. To bad for the ones who hadn’t gone yet. I really, in my exhausted, now obviously delusional mind, did not expect this next announcement:

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have been unable to get the lavatories reset. We will try one more time, and if this still does not work, we will need to land in Winnipeg for maintenance.”

He’s joking right?

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have been unable to reset the lavatories. Please return your chairs to their upright position, and put away your tray tables. We will landing in 10 minutes.”

What!?! Why? Who can’t hold it? We are not making a pit stop for some wussy who can’t hold their whizz! I AM ALMOST HOME!

We landed, the plane was serviced and we were on our way. An hour and 45 minutes late. Some one behind me complained about the ‘so-called non-stop to Edmonton.’ Sitting there, looking fresh out of the shower, she gave me a ‘don’t you agree look?’

I had no words. I just started to laugh. It may have been a little hysterical. “Lady, I have been traveling for over 72 hours with two small children. I have been canceled, re-routed, delayed and now grounded for maintenance. I have been puked on, used my sleeve to wipe noses because I couldn’t get a tissue due to turbulence, and am still wearing that shirt because I have nothing else to wear. I haven’t slept in days. Right now, all I can really do is laugh. I just hope it really is going to be a quick fix.” She sat back and didn’t say another word.

We finally touched down in Edmonton. I asked for a wheelchair for the girls and made our way to baggage, balloons and our family.

Thank god for those balloons.

Total travel time – 84 hours

Our Adoption Journey – Part 4

We’ve not shared our story publicly up to this point but now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak, I am going to share the process here, with names and numbers. I’ve journaled sporadically but have at least kept track of the important stuff. Some of this is pretty close to my heart and I ask that you, the reader, handle my feelings with care and gentleness. Everyone comes to adoption differently. This is our path.

Our story:

Part 4:

Our Adoption Trip:
June 10th, 2011

Luke Leonard from The Family Network gave us a couple of places that his office works with regularly and I began to call them. I called Adoption Network Law Center and, after speaking to someone who asked a couple of questions to pre-qualify us, I was put on hold and then through to Teri Miller, an adoption consultant. I made it clear early in our conversation that we are Canadian and her response to that was that non-citizens cannot adopt domestically in the US. She was unable to give a concise answer as to why but vaguely implied that the Canadian government would not allow it. She also referred to The Hague Convention which governs the international adoption of children. The US has been a partner in the Hague Convention since 2007. (It’s still relatively new to US adoption workers and not necessarily well understood.) She felt that it clearly stated that we would not be able to adopt or that we would need to return to Canada in order to have all of our assessments done there. I have read through it (yay – fun reading!) and nowhere did it state this.

Taken from Citizen and Immigration Canada:

The Hague Convention’s main goals are to:

  • protect the best interests of adopted children;
  • standardize processes between countries; and
  • prevent child abuse, such as trafficking in children.

 

What you need to know about the Hague Convention:

  • If the child you want to adopt comes from one of the countries that follow the Hague Convention, the adoption must follow the Convention’s rules. Canada and all its provinces and territories follow the Convention. Check the list of other countries in the Related Links section at the bottom of this page.
  • The adoption authorities in your province or territory will explain the rules of the Hague Convention to you.
  • Before a child can be adopted from one country to live in another, the Convention requires that the governments in both countries agree to proceed with the adoption.
  • Canada does not allow adoptions that are arranged privately if the child’s home country follows the Hague Convention

 

This did not apply to us as we are, and will continue to be, living in the US. It was not our intention to adopt a child and move immediately back to Canada. I did make that clear to Teri but she felt pretty strongly about it. I did speak to her a couple of days later, though and she conceded that she actually did not know for sure. This was not the first adoption worker that I had come across who believed this, one company I researched puts on their site that they will only work with US citizens. When I called them, they also ‘blamed’ the Hague Convention.


For those who know me well… I’m sure that you know that this did not sit well with me and when something is unsettling me – I get information.


To be Continued…

My Sister is Amazing!

My sister and her two girls arrived last week and, as soon as we settled in, my sister took over my house and cleaned, cleaned and cleaned! All of my spider web mansions are gone now.
She even cleaned while carrying our sweet baby around, sleeping in the wrap. Every once in a while she would stop and pat his bottom but she basically vacuumed for 2 hours straight.

Jennifer Vacuuming with Eamonn in the Wrap

My sister is amazing!!!

I want to remember – 2

I want to remember how it feels to have Eamonn snugged up next to me in bed nursing. I can hear his sucking and swallowing and I can feel his belly movements against my belly as he breathes. I almost want to stop breathing myself so that I can feel and remember all of it.

I want to remember his smile over the weekend (at age 5 weeks, 5 days). I pulled him back away from my face so that he could look at me comfortably and said hello to him. He responded with a full faced smile. (Heart melt)

I want to remember that I put him to sleep in the middle of the bed and wake up with him snuggled right up to my side. (How does he do it?)

I want to remember turning the headlamp on in the middle of the night so that I can attend to him only to have him fall right back to sleep… and leaving the light on for a few minutes so that I can watch him sleep.

I want to remember how people seem to light up around him; complete strangers say “BABY!!!” in a high pitched voice and want to connect in some way. At first I found it so disconcerting that I did not know what to say or do… now I am able to roll with it.

I want to remember those fleeting smiles that curl up one side of his mouth and light up his eyes.

IMG_3022

I want to remember how he holds on to me when I have him snuggled up closely.

IMG_3027

I want to remember him laying on top of me, skin to skin, and bobbing his head until he found the nipple and was able to nurse.

I want to remember when he fell asleep on the floor in front of the patio door in the square of sunshine that came through the window. We let him sleep.

IMG_3041

Above all, I want to remember to peaceful sound of the ocean which seems to match his breathing as he sleeps on the couch.

And…

I want to remember the love that continues to grow for him… this little boy who joined our family 8 short weeks ago. I want to remember how our relationship started and how I now fall further and further in love with him with every day that we spend together.

IMG_3011 - Version 2

Our Adoption Journey – Part 3

We’ve not shared our story publicly up to this point but now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak, I am going to share the process here, with names and numbers. I’ve journaled sporadically but have at least kept track of the important stuff. Some of this is pretty close to my heart and I ask that you, the reader, handle my feelings with care and gentleness. Everyone comes to adoption differently. This is our path.

Our story:

Part 3:

Our Adoption Trip:
June 9th, 2011

As I sit in our front yard overlooking the Pacific Ocean, I am humbled. A and I are so blessed in our lives. And now we are taking the steps to be further blessed. We’ve decided to pursue adoption. Tomorrow at noon our home study begins.* It is mandatory in order for us to move forward. Because our plan is to stay in the US for the next few years for sure and possibly longer, it appears as though we do not need to involve Canada/Alberta in the process at least at this time. Once the adoption is finalized, if we choose to retune to Canada, we will need to apply for citizenship for our child, as we would for a biological child.**
I think that we both still waver on the adoption – but we are both very firm in the knowledge that we want to be parents. We are also finally acknowledging that we need to ‘do’ something about it. Parenthood obviously does/will not fall into our laps and so we must pursue it. I am excited and nervous to be taking these steps. It seems very grown-up and at times we do not feel very grown-up. ;-)
We will need to share with a select few that we wish to adopt – we will need references. I’ve made a list of people who would be able to give us a reference but also who we don’t mind sharing with about our plans. I am waiting until tomorrow though, I would like to see what the home study requires. I would rather not tell anyone unless we must. It feels odd to keep this secret, but it also feels right. It feels like a ‘conception’ of sorts right now – and no one needs to know about that. ;-)
Beginning tomorrow we will ‘put our money where our mouth is’ so to speak. We are going to put $2500 towards the home study, towards this first and very important step. We will be putting up much more money in the future for this but this is the start. This may mean that we will not be able to do some of the things that we had hoped to do this year but what better reason to could there be…?
One thing that we will be discussing tomorrow is whether or not we are open to a child that is racially different than us. I am inclined to say that I am unconcerned however A brought up a point that I had not considered. It was that, as a child who looked like his adoptive parents, it was HIS choice to share with people that he was adopted. A child that looks conspicuously different that us will not have that choice. We need to have more discussions around this point before to much longer.
A funny thing happened last night. We were standing in line awaiting a table at the Crow’s Nest and there were some kids playing with the binoculars. After a while the dad came over and laughingly ‘offered’ the crew to us. (I jokingly replied that we would only take them if the youngest on came with the sparkly sequinned shoes that she was wearing.) As he walked away, A and I looked at each other and noted the irony in the situation. I had only 3 hours before dropped off our preliminary application for our home study. These are the kinds of things in life that cannot be scripted.
This wild and crazy world that we live in…

*For the Home Study we used a local agency who works in this neck of the woods. The Family Network at 831-462-8954 – Luke Leonard has been our contact. All of our dealings with them have been absolutely lovely. Luke and his wife have both biological and adopted children and have been at this for quite some time. Luke has the most amazing and jolly laugh and a face meant for smiling.

**Regarding Canadians (Albertans) living and adopting in the US: Alberta Adoption and Permanency Services at 780-422-0178
Spoke to Sheeba – she said that as long as we were not considering a return to Alberta in the short term, they would be unconcerned with the process. When/if we return to Canada with our adopted child, it would be the same process as it would be if we were bringing a biological child into Canada regarding citizenship.
She also said that as long as we are not considering an international adoption (outside of the US), the Hague Convention would not apply to us.

Adoption Journey Part 1
Adoption Journey Part 2

I Want to Remember…

How I took Eamonn into my arms when he was 9 minutes old and into my heart over the next few days.

How skinny Eamonn’s little bum was… and his knees. And how quickly they filled out.

How fearful he was with his first bath and then how he was able to calm down for subsequent baths… and how showers seem to be just fine.

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How his little face lit up into a smile when he was 2 1/2 weeks… and my heart simply melted.

How he rolled over at exactly 4 weeks – 4 times! (Front to back – to the left and the right)

That his first hospital guests were Heather and Samuel, our Colorado Springs hosts. Samuel was so excited to meet Eamonn. He greeted him with a book (Eamonn’s first introduction to books) and then spent the rest of the time crawling on the floor under the curtain that hid the door.

My mom getting into the back of the car, scooting over to sit in the middle seat and exclaiming over Eamonn, how handsome he was. Every time I looked in the rear view mirror, she was looking at him and smiling ‘that’ smile. And that we were prepared to stop at any time to feed him, but he made it all the way home from the airport before needing to eat.

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How at 4 weeks he has finally begun to really look us in the eyes.

How A read him a book and he showed interest by changing the expressions on his face to match A’s (3 weeks 6 days).

A walk at Pleasure Point with Andrea.

Pleasure Point
How when A comes home and talks to him, he shows recognition.

How he calms when I pick him up and whisper in his ear.

Ernie’s (A’s dad) facial expressions when he met Eamonn and every time he held him (usually the O face).

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How Eamonn was always calm with Ernie.

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How Helen (A’s mom) calls him a little monkey.

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How he chuckled in his sleep at 5 weeks 3 days.

How he sleeps later than me but lately when I go and get him out of bed he has scooted over and is usually laying where I would be if I  was still there… do you think he’s looking for me?

How he was amazing when we were out for dinner at Soif and then, just as we were ready to leave, he completely filled his diaper… and his onesie. You could see the poop through the shirt but it was completely contained. I had to take him to to bathroom where it had only a tiny shelf, undress him without covering him in poop, give him a quick bath in the sink and get him dressed again. We left with everyone happy and clean (and so was the bathroom). I did stand there for a minute or two working out the best way to move forward with minimal poop spread. Successful mommy moment. :-)

And simply how adorable his cheeks and lips are.

Lips And Cheeks

 

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