We’ve not shared our story publicly up to this point but now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak, I am going to share the process here, with names and numbers. I’ve journaled sporadically but have at least kept track of the important stuff. Some of this is pretty close to my heart and I ask that you, the reader, handle my feelings with care and gentleness. Everyone comes to adoption differently. This is our path.
Our Adoption Trip:
June 9th, 2011
As I sit in our front yard overlooking the Pacific Ocean, I am humbled. A and I are so blessed in our lives. And now we are taking the steps to be further blessed. We’ve decided to pursue adoption. Tomorrow at noon our home study begins.* It is mandatory in order for us to move forward. Because our plan is to stay in the US for the next few years for sure and possibly longer, it appears as though we do not need to involve Canada/Alberta in the process at least at this time. Once the adoption is finalized, if we choose to retune to Canada, we will need to apply for citizenship for our child, as we would for a biological child.**
I think that we both still waver on the adoption – but we are both very firm in the knowledge that we want to be parents. We are also finally acknowledging that we need to ‘do’ something about it. Parenthood obviously does/will not fall into our laps and so we must pursue it. I am excited and nervous to be taking these steps. It seems very grown-up and at times we do not feel very grown-up.
We will need to share with a select few that we wish to adopt – we will need references. I’ve made a list of people who would be able to give us a reference but also who we don’t mind sharing with about our plans. I am waiting until tomorrow though, I would like to see what the home study requires. I would rather not tell anyone unless we must. It feels odd to keep this secret, but it also feels right. It feels like a ‘conception’ of sorts right now – and no one needs to know about that.
Beginning tomorrow we will ‘put our money where our mouth is’ so to speak. We are going to put $2500 towards the home study, towards this first and very important step. We will be putting up much more money in the future for this but this is the start. This may mean that we will not be able to do some of the things that we had hoped to do this year but what better reason to could there be…?
One thing that we will be discussing tomorrow is whether or not we are open to a child that is racially different than us. I am inclined to say that I am unconcerned however A brought up a point that I had not considered. It was that, as a child who looked like his adoptive parents, it was HIS choice to share with people that he was adopted. A child that looks conspicuously different that us will not have that choice. We need to have more discussions around this point before to much longer.
A funny thing happened last night. We were standing in line awaiting a table at the Crow’s Nest and there were some kids playing with the binoculars. After a while the dad came over and laughingly ‘offered’ the crew to us. (I jokingly replied that we would only take them if the youngest on came with the sparkly sequinned shoes that she was wearing.) As he walked away, A and I looked at each other and noted the irony in the situation. I had only 3 hours before dropped off our preliminary application for our home study. These are the kinds of things in life that cannot be scripted.
This wild and crazy world that we live in…
*For the Home Study we used a local agency who works in this neck of the woods. The Family Network at 831-462-8954 – Luke Leonard has been our contact. All of our dealings with them have been absolutely lovely. Luke and his wife have both biological and adopted children and have been at this for quite some time. Luke has the most amazing and jolly laugh and a face meant for smiling.
**Regarding Canadians (Albertans) living and adopting in the US: Alberta Adoption and Permanency Services at 780-422-0178
Spoke to Sheeba – she said that as long as we were not considering a return to Alberta in the short term, they would be unconcerned with the process. When/if we return to Canada with our adopted child, it would be the same process as it would be if we were bringing a biological child into Canada regarding citizenship.
She also said that as long as we are not considering an international adoption (outside of the US), the Hague Convention would not apply to us.