I will be getting 4 hours of sleep tonight. But thankfully the kiddos will get 8 before I rouse them, change diapers, tuck them into their car seats and race off to the airport. Hopefully they will fall asleep again on the way but I won’t be holding my breath. It’ll be too exciting.
What are we doing in the middle of the night?
Where are we going?
Why am I still in my pajamas?
I always knew that there had to be a first. A first ‘mama and babes solo trip’. And maybe this is the way to do it. A spur-of-the-moment, hastily-thought-out kind of trip. I don’t have much time to worry, I don’t have much time to over-plan. I must just do.
And I have just done.
We are packed, we are stream-lined, we are ready.
For all of it’s last minute-ness, it really is an important trip. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. For almost a year actually. Our move to London has just bumped it up a few years or so.
Last year I got an email from the adoption agency in Colorado. The same one that we used for Eamonn’s adoption. They said that there was another adoptive family looking for us. They thought that they had a sibling to our son. They thought that it was likely that the two boys were full siblings. They thought that we might want to connect.
At first I did not know what to think. I had known about this other little boy and in the back of my mind I had wondered why the adoptive parents didn’t also adopt this little one who we loved so much. (It was confusing, wanting the best for our son, still wanting him as ours.) I wondered if they had been contacted and if they had had to say no. My heart hurt for these two little boys, forever connected, yet separate.
Adoption is funny, there is so much joy and yet there is so much pain. Most people don’t talk about the pain… but it’s there.
The adoptive mama to this other little boy sent me a photo. The eyes were slightly different, the hair a little bit straighter, the mouth at a different tilt but… if I squinted a little bit, it was Eamonn. There was absolutely no denying that they are siblings.
We’re going to meet him.
We are going to get these sweet little boys together long before they will even understand what it means. We are going to let them play, fight over toys, ignore each other, connect… and get to know each other.
And while it’s happening myself and this other mama will be taking photos and we will try so hard be the memory that they won’t have yet. Later… We’ll tell them how they met, how they played, something cute, something sad…
We’ll tell the stories over and over again, so that it becomes their story.
And they will be